Previously on the walking dead………
They live amongst us . They are dressed as the most cheerful faces in the crowd yelling happiness is killing me .They wear the warmest smiles and carry the heartiest chortle.They give the most hope at just one look. They tell everyone it is going to be alright yet they don’t have the same hope for their situation . They look like they got their shit together , they look like nothing is bothering them . Its even worse when their skins and bodies look fine , when they have nice teeth , fine hair ,well built bodies with zero disability. It even gets to worst when they come from rich and well known families or have money to buy anything money can buy but peace of mind.
I will tell you this again , ” anger,resentment and jealousy do not change the heart of other people , they only damage yours.” It is in my experience that people are lot more sympathetic if they can see you hurting and for the millionth time in my life I wish for measles or smallpox or some other easily understood disease, leprosy may be, just to make it easier on me and on them.
I’ll tell you of a man who with all the money in the world could not buy a peace of mind . I’ll tell you of a girl whose body shape ,skin color and smile were every young adolescent’s dream but she still cried to the maker for lack of repose . I’ll tell you about a princess who’s life ,from every little girl’s perspective is a beautiful dream but in her own she wished she could just live like any other ordinary human free from loyal conservatism and protocol. I’ll tell you of a man who had a lot of land, money and wisdom but could give it up for a peace of mind.
You will find them walking on these streets like any other may be looking even healthier than the rest but their soul , their mind , their inner-self is chanting …….. “if i can’t feel , if i can’t move, if i can’t think, if i can’t care !? then what conceivable part is there to life ??” The chime of lost hope because no one in this world can understand how a rich ,jolly middle aged woman in her early twenties (with no children or two utmost) can be in so much pain to such an extent of wanting to take her physical life. I call it physical because the inner is gone. Rest In Peace. The irony!!!!
Most of these people have slowly learnt how to hide their misery in the hope that it will go away if they do not pay attention to it . For a few of us it is working magic but there is always those moments of flash back in every movie and that’s how depression hits you like a fresh memory of an ex you truly loved but it did not work out and you’ll never be the same again. But depression is not a sudden disaster.It is more like a cancer; At first its tumorous mass is not even noticeable to the plain eye, and then one day -boom-the huge, deadly big-boned lump clotted in your brain or you heart or your stomach or your shoulder blade, and this thing that your own body has produced is actually trying to kill you. The funny bit of it is that you will not see it coming, you’ll be tricked into thinking it’s a normality,may be something about getting older,something that all grown ups go through and then one day you’ll realize that your whole life is not only awful but also fucked,worthless,a horror and a black blot on the white terrain of human existence ( definitely not my words)
It is a lot like that : slowly ,over the years , the data will accumulate in your heart and mind , a computer program for total negativity will build into your system, making life feel more and more unbearable
Don’t let life fuck you up .It is yours.It’s yours to drive .Get up in the morning and think about what you are going to do in the day .Be happy on your way to your job even if you don’t like it. You gotta be happy on your way to happy don’t think you are going to get there and be happy. You carry yourself with you.You can’t afford to lose yourself on the way because you’ll need yourself when you get there. Damn right you will!
The maker was calm , kind , and generous , but nature instills violence in our bones. We are torn between living in a man’s world and choosing to join heavenly tranquility. Why are we so scared of death yet we want it so much . Like a young virgin so proud to be a full bloom flower yet scared of the pain of being stripped off thine innocence because that is the only way to bring to life mo
Somewhere inside you is that free person I am talking about. Locate her and let her do some good in the world. Do not sit on that super power.My Tribute to Toni Morrison
Rest well Queen …….